Trekking - A Walk up to Mohan's Cafe and a Cunning Plan

October 12, 2006

"I have a cunning plan, m'lord"

- Baldrick, the extremely stupid manservant to his extremely manipulative but unsuccessful master Edmund Blackadder, in every single episode of the British TV show "Blackadder"

Like Baldrick, I too have a cunning plan. But before I tell you all about it, I am happy to let you know that I did a nice 16 kilometre trek today, and feel pretty good about it. A few words about this trek are warranted.

I am in the Himalayas again. I walked up from the town I am vacationing in to a place called "Crank's Ridge" in the Lonely Planet Guide to India. This place is at 7,000 feet squarely facing 300 kilometres of the middle Himalayas. It is supposed to have a mystical aura about it. The number and types of famous people who have visited here make for interesting reading.

Indian mystics such as Swami Vivekananda and Rabindranath Tagore spent some time here, in addition to Jawaharlal Nehru and Mahatma Gandhi. In the 1970s, it was home for a few months to people like Timothy Leary, Bob Dylan, Allen Ginsberg, Cat Stevens and George Harrison of the Beatles. These guys probably came here as much for the high-quality marijuana (which is available in plenty) as for spiritual enlightenment. The writer D.H. Lawrence spent two summers here many years ago as well.

In the nearby town of Almora is located the Uday Shankar School of Dance. Uday Shankar was a famous dancer in the 1930s and was the elder brother of sitar maestro Ravi Shankar. Alumni of the school include late Indian film-maker Guru Dutt, Ravi Shankar’s first wife and sitarist Annapurna Devi and actress Zohra Sehgal. There are also several Buddhist centers up on Crank’s Ridge, as well as a hospital founded by the daughter of 1950s movie star and comedian, Danny Kaye.

Today, it is home to about 200 foreign residents, most of who are from Britain, Germany and Israel. In fact, the Israelis occupy a three-storied building and a lot of them come here to smoke dope, trek, gaze at the mountains and make love after they finish the mandatory military service in Israel. Not a bad way to spend a few months, actually.

I stopped for lunch at Mohan's Cafe - a great location with the Himalayas on one side and rolling green valleys on the other. This is an Italian restaurant that serves authentic Italian food including avocadoes (of all things), pizzas, Italian salads and pastas. It was founded by an Italian guy who has probably long since left. Avocadoes in this remote corner of the Indian Himalayas!!! The mind boggles (and stays boggled if one chooses to partake of the potent local marijuana - it is some pretty powerful juju medicine). I was the only Indian in the restaurant - all the others were either hippie types or foreign trekkers (the super-fit types). I heard harsh German accents, proper Queen's English and my favorite, the familiar nasal twang of a guy who must have been from Northern New Jersey. I had a brief conversation with a friendly young Israeli woman. She looked not just happy, but radiant, which made her beautiful indeed. She had to leave quickly - no doubt a hirsute, stoned Israeli boyfriend with a bad case of the munchies lurked somewhere in the background.

It was a very enjoyable day. This place now has broadband Internet cafes and thanks to the foreign residents, one can buy the choicest European chocolates and six different kinds of muesli breakfast cereal. I remember the place from twenty years ago, when there was nothing here except for a few stray hippies. The world is getting smaller, for sure. Every time I come here, I have to fight off the urge to sing the George Harrison song "My Sweet Lord" at the top of my voice. The place has something going for it, for sure. The great Himalayas, sunlight glinting on a butterfly's wing, rolling meadows and tall, evergreen trees. Even an ardent non-believer like me can see that.

And now for my cunning plan. I had a brainwave a few days ago (unaided by alcohol or organic stimulants, I might add). What if one made a plan to walk through the Uttaranchal Himalayas starting from the eastern border with Nepal, and proceeded to walk right through it (past the "Char Dhams" or 4 religious centres of Hinduism which are Badrinath, Kedarnath, Gangotri and Yamunotri), and into Himachal Pradesh upto Lahul-Spiti?

The entire trip would take about 7 to 8 weeks assuming one covered 40 to 45 kilometres a week - this is entirely feasible if one is reasonably fit, had a knowledgable guide, a bunch of pack animals and a oversize supply of toilet paper. This route (and a trade route of this nature does exist) would take one through the most beautiful mountain country in the world at altitudes between 6,500 and 11,000 feet - not lung-busting altitudes, for sure.

I brought this plan up with Bharat Shah, my friend here who is a trekking guide extraordinaire. He is excited about it and has started doing background research about possible routes, villages, stopovers, etc. Of course, this means an investment of money and time. I also plan to capture the trip on video, put in a script and add a voice-over. Not my voice, of course, which is sounding more and more gravelly - sort of like Bob Dylan singing "Masters of War" at the Grammy Awards a few years ago. But I will write the script, for sure.

I would then try and sell the end product to a TV channel. To my knowledge, no such program content exists. The objective is not to make money (though money is welcome), but to capture on film what would be an once-in-a-lifetime trip.

I will also need Bharat to accompany me, since he is familiar with the terrain at least within the Uttaranchal portion of the Himalayas. He is also a part-time anthropologist, and is very knowledgable about the culture, myths and legends of the hill-folk of the state of Uttaranchal.

I will not be able to make this trip next year. This is an expedition, and will require money. I hope to have enough money and time to make this trip sometime in 2008 or 2009.

So wish me luck. Unlike Baldrick's cunning plans, I hope mine do work out.